REAL MADRID

Founded in 1902, Real Madrid Club de Fútbol has been one of the superpowers in European football since the middle of the last century. Indeed, they were awarded the honour of “Best club of the 20 th century by FIFA, an award for their huge domestic success and also for their domination of Europe. Real Madrid was not always named thus and the “Real” (or “Royal”) part of the name was only added after the club received a blessing from King Alfonso XIII in 1920. The club play in a white strip and they are commonly known as “Los Merengues” (the whites). The club’s home is at the Santiago Bernebéu stadium in Madrid, it is one of Europe’s finest and holds over 80,000 fans and is now also a huge tourist attraction in the city. Since the start of the Spanish national league in 1928, Madrid have never been relegated from the top division.

The start of the clubs success really came under the Franco regime – he saw the club as an excellent propaganda vehicle and poured resource into the club to try to make them a dominating force in Spain and beyond. It is from this point that one of the greatest rivalries in football was born with Catalan club Barcelona. The suppression of the Catalan language and culture by Franco’s regime immediately put Barcelona in opposition to Madrid, the team who seemed to represent the dictator’s regime and some unsavoury match fixing incidents further soured relationships and made the rivalry all the more fierce.

Probably Madrid’s finest period came between 1955 and 1960 when they won an unprecedented five European Cup’s in a row. This really put the club on the map as a dominant force in Europe and no club has matched the feat since. Probably the finest display came in the 1960 final where they demolished their German opposition, Eintracht Frankfurt, 7-3. Real have since gone on to win the trophy four more times and this total of 9 is better than any other team. Amongst Real Madrid’s domestic honours are a massive 29 league titles and 17 Spanish cup triumphs, equally unrivalled by any team in Spain.

In recent years Madrid have been extremely successful also, famed for the having the resource to buy the most high profile signings, it has seemed like no price tag is too big for Real Madrid. In 2000 they brought in Luis Figo from rivals Barcelona for €60million, the following year saw French wonder Zinedine Zidane arrive from Juventus for a world record fee of €71million. Further high profile signings were made in 2002 and 2003 when Ronaldo and England captain David Beckham were brought in by the club to further strengthen the squad of stars. This policy of buying the best players has earned Real Madrid the new nickname of “Los Galacticos”.

The last few seasons however has seen a minor downturn for the fortunes of the club – three seasons since their last league victory and four since their last European triumph are not going to please many fans of the club. Huge pressure is put on the manager and the last couple of years has seen a fairly quick turnover of staff; this isn’t a club that is used to losing so when the results don’t come it is usually the manager who catches the bullet. Last season they saw the title go to rivals Barcelona and their European run came to an end against Juventus in the quarter finals – results that aren’t acceptable at the Bernebéu and they’ll be looking to improve on them this season and bring home some silverware.

Once two morons got fed up with the Indian Government and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. On the way one moron asks the other, "What will happen if the bombs blast off now." The other says, "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat" Points: 2.9 Rate The Joke

Two morons walked towards each other on a country road. One carried a bag over his shoulder. "What's in the bag?", said one moron "Chickens", was the reply. "If I guess their number correctly, how many can I have?" "You can have both of them." "OK," said the first moron, "Five." Points: 3.4 Rate The Joke

Binny: "What happened to John, his nose was all swollen this morning?" Pratik: "He tried to smell a brose." Binny: "You mean a rose? There is no 'b' in a rose." Binny: "There was a 'b' (bee) in this one." Points: 2.9 Rate The Joke

moron1:Why can't we see the Sun at night? moron2: Because it is too dark. Points: 3.2 Rate The Joke

One evening, Ramesh and Mohan met in a garden. Suddenly Ramesh saw something that astonished him Ramesh: That’s a strange pair of socks you are wearing- one green and one blue! Mohan: That’s funny. I’ve got another pair just like this at home. Points: 2.5 Rate The Joke

Rohan and Mohan got up on a double-decker bus. After a short while, frightened Rohan came down from the upper deck. Conductor: Why did you come down? Rohan: There is no driver in that bus. Points: 3.8 Rate The Joke

There were 2 morons and each had a horse. They decided to put the horses in a shed for one month while they went on vacation. One guy asked the other guy "How they were going to tell which one belonged to whom?" After many long hours of thinking they finally came up with a solution. They would shave the mane of one. That one belonged to the 1st farmer. So, they put the horses in the shed and left. When they came back the mane had grown back. They asked each other which belonged to whom. Then the 1st farmer said, "OK I will take the black one you take the white one." Points: 2.7 Rate The Joke

Did you hear about the idiot who made his chickens drink boiling water? He thought they would lay hard boiled eggs. Points: 2.5 Rate The Joke

Q:Which coat can you can put on wet? A:A coat of paint Points: 2.2 Rate The Joke

POOJA:WHAT NATIONALITY ARE YOU? GLORY:MY FATHER IS FROM ICELAND AND MY MOTHER IS FROM CUBA. POOJA:SO YOU ARE AN ICECUBE? Points: 4 Rate The Joke

Customer:I like the material of the shirt but I did not like the shade Shopkeeper:Don't worry sir ,after one wash it will dissappear. Points: 3.2 Rate The Joke

Once a moron was going on a walk when he saw an ant. He hated ants and was about to stamp it. Seeing this, the ant begged him not to stamp it today as it was it's birthday. Hearing this the moron picked the ant and said,"ok, let's celebrate your birthday. I'll sing and you dance. The moron then started clapping and singing, "Happy Birthday to you!..." and killed the ant while doing so Points: 3.3 Rate The Joke

FIRST MORON:I AM THE KING OF THIS WORLD. SECOND MORON:WHO TOLD YOU? FIRST MORON:GOD TOLD ME. SECOND MORON: DON'T LIE. I NEVER TOLD YOU SUCH A THING Points: 3 Rate The Joke

Once a moron got down at Agra.He thought that it was Delhi and searched for taxies which would take him to the Red Fort. Every taxi driver told him he didn't know the road to the Red Fort. After nearly twelve hours, he met another moron. the first moron asked:"Do you know the road to the Red Fort?" The second moron asked him:"When did you arrive here?" The first moron answered:"This morning.Why?" The Second moron said:"That's a relief!What stupid city this is!I've been here a whole month searching for the Qutubminar!" Points: 3.4 Rate The Joke

A moron asks another: if your dog lost his tail where would you get another one from? Other moron: from a re-tail shop.

	Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1861. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1961. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Wives of both lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot dead on a Friday. Both were shot in the head.
Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners. Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their full names. Both names comprise fifteen letters. Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse. Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater. Booth and Oswald were both assassinated before their trials.And of course...... Both Lincoln and Kennedy were the Presidents of the United States of America.